IN-PERSON IN ROSEVILLE
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Couples counseling
Helping couples heal their relationships by empowering them to understand their patterns—and what it takes to change them.
You love each other. But that doesn’t mean things are always easy.
You’re fighting more than you used to. The ease and bliss of the early days of your relationship are gone; as you’ve become more committed, it’s like the disappointment and frustration have grown, too.
There have been a few big fights here and there, but it’s the regular, smaller arguments that are starting to really add up. Or maybe a large betrayal has just come to light, and you’re grappling with whether your relationship can weather this storm.
As much as you love each other, you’ve begun to wonder if you’re really supposed to be together—if you’re truly right for one another. You don’t want that to be true, but you also know these patterns won’t change unless you can both face them head-on.
You don’t want to go into (or continue) marriage like this. Something has to change—not just in your relationship, but in how each of you show up to it—if this is going to work.
You’re ready to:
Understand why these things are happening, so you can own your part and start changing the dynamic
Be able to see your partner’s perspective without giving up your own
Navigate differences in culture, race, religion, or upbringing that are impacting how you connect to one another
Feel heard and understood in your relationship—without needing to agree on everything
Create healthy boundaries that support both your individuality and your partnership
Equip your marriage with the tools & truth-telling it needs to last
How it works
It’s possible to mend these fractures and move into the future together, all without losing your authentic selves.
We all have expectations about how our relationships should work. When those expectations aren’t met, it becomes a recipe for anger, disappointment, and resentment. In couples counseling, we start by naming those expectations—together. Which are reasonable, which are negotiable, and which are unrealistic? This creates a shared foundation to work from, so you can understand each other more clearly and relate more intentionally.
Each of you is also bringing your own past into this relationship. You’ve been programmed to think or act in certain ways—ways that may feel normal to you but can be hurtful or harmful when left unacknowledged. Using methods like Brainspotting and Accelerated Resolution Therapy, I can help you unpack and process these deeper things individually, because your experience matters, and it affects how you show up as a partner.
Then, with Relational Life Therapy, I can help you create new ways of relating to one another. We’ll address the stuck patterns, build relational integrity, and practice new ways of connecting—ways that are honest and rooted in mutual respect. You’ll learn how to show up differently to conflict, improve communication, and rebuild that strong connection that brought you together in the first place.
Here’s the thing: you can learn “skills” anywhere. In therapy with me, we’ll deal with the parts of you that won’t actually use them.
My goal is that you leave each session with something tangible to apply to your day-to-day: something to think about, something to try, something to read, or another tool to begin making the small tweaks that add up to big change.
Couples therapy with me means…
Direct feedback
Fast change
Taking ownership
Telling the truth
Honest confrontation
Couples therapy with me doesn’t mean…
Neutral stance
Surface conflict
Passive listening
Slow progress
Gentle reflection
Don’t have time for weekly therapy?
Couples intensives offer focused, accelerated support to help you break patterns, rebuild connection, and make meaningful progress—fast. 1, 2, 3, & 4-day formats available.
Frequently asked questions
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Gottman, traditionally, is very focused on skills, but can miss the deeper emotional work. EFT goes deep emotionally, but misses the skills. Neither of these approaches addresses power imbalances or grandiosity, dynamics in relationships that are often incredibly harmful but difficult to root out.
Relational Life Therapy takes this on directly, and you end up with both deep insight and practical tools. In RLT, we’ll confront patterns of entitlement or avoidance, and you’ll be challenged to take responsibility for your own reactions and regulation.
In RLT, we also work on accepting the imperfections of humans and relationships. The fact is, there are certain “bitter pills” in marriage: realities and truths that can be hard to swallow. It can sometimes be lonely or disappointing. RLT doesn’t pretend things will always feel good or easy; instead, it helps you decide what’s workable and what’s not—and then what to do about it.
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Yes, this is a common concern. Some studies suggest that up to 50% of couples who come to therapy have some level of infidelity at play. When betrayal happens, your marriage changes forever. The old marriage is over, and you get to decide what the new one will look like. Together, we’ll see if that’s a possibility—and, if so, make the pain of betrayal worth it by deeply transforming the future of your relationship.
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During the first few sessions, we will talk about the struggles that bring you to therapy, your history, and define your goals. I use a combination or attachment, biological/neurological, and behavioral techniques to reduce conflict and improve communication and connection.
As a therapist, I have a real-life, practical, and straightforward approach. This means I will be actively involved in our sessions, helping you to achieve your goals.
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How long you will be in therapy depends on your needs as a couple. The research suggests that most therapy clients feel improvement in 12 - 15 sessions and I would expect the same for you. Some couples feel better enough that they graduate within that time. Others find that they enjoy the process of therapy and want to continue as their lives change and evolve. My goal is to help you meet your goals as soon as possible. As long as counseling continues to be helpful, I’ll be here to support you.
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It’s not uncommon for one partner to seek therapy before the other is ready to join. But that doesn't mean we can’t work to improve your relationship. I’m happy to meet with you individually in the meantime. We will work to identify your individual goals, and find strategies to improve your relationship until your partner is ready to join.
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While I can’t make guarantees, I can tell you that I know growth, healing and change are possible. I see it everyday as I witness my clients' relationships evolve and improve.
Study after study has shown that the quality of the relationship between client and therapist is the most reliable and the most powerful predictor of a positive outcome in therapy, which is why I offer a free consultation to ensure I am the right person to help you.
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Brainspotting is an evidence-based approach to help you access your body’s own capacity to heal and achieve deep, long-lasting change. Much like you might look off into the distance to try and remember something, your eye positions are linked to different areas of your mind that store thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. In Brainspotting, we can access stored trauma or pain by fixing your eye positions on specific locations.
Research indicates it may be more effective than Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) due to its increased precision.
Curious? Click here to learn more.
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As an evidence-based practice, Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) has been shown to provide quick relief from upsetting and disturbing memories and events in just one to five sessions, typically over the course of 2 to 3 weeks. All without having to talk about the details.
The directive and interactive design facilitates these rapid results at a deep neurological level, without the guesswork of free association, as in other therapies.
Research indicates it may be more effective than Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) due to its increased precision.
Curious? Click here to learn more.
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A Therapy Intensive is an accelerated form of therapy designed to help clients go deeper and get results faster. Instead of attending therapy one hour per week for a year, you can accomplish the same level of work in just a few days. Intensives are an approach to help people feel better faster.
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Contact me to schedule a free consultation with me. It’s important that you feel comfortable with your counselor, and I’ll help you decide if I’m the right fit for you.
