When a Bigger Whiteboard Won’t Help: Letting Go in the Face of Overwhelm
A personal reflection on recognizing when we've hit our limit and the power of letting go
As entrepreneurs and parents, we're constantly juggling multiple responsibilities, often believing we just need better systems or tools to manage it all. But sometimes, what we really need is to let some things go.
The Breaking Point We All Eventually Face
I bought a bigger whiteboard... and then had a good cry. 😭
When I say bigger, I'm talking 8ft x 4ft big. You're probably wondering what this has to do with crying. Here's the backstory.
Back in 2023, my kids started TK (pre-K). They had been in full-time preschool for over 2 years. While I knew this would be a big transition for us all, I completely underestimated the emotional toll it would take on me, especially combined with the ever-growing pile of responsibilities at home and in both of my businesses. I thought I had set realistic goals. I thought I had pulled back enough. I was wrong.
On their first day of school, I found myself struggling to breathe most of the day, despite doing all the "right" things. My chest felt like it was in a vice grip (I even got a massage, people!). That night, sitting on the couch telling my husband about these feelings, the floodgates opened. I just started crying. Kids growing up, changes, stress, overwhelm, family of origin stuff resurfacing, growing to-do lists, and mounting piles of toys that needed sorting... So many decisions to make. I had hit my breaking point.
After a good long cry and talk, my husband looked at me and said, "So... your solution to all this was to just buy a bigger whiteboard?" 🤔
We both laughed so hard that we cried. Instead of reducing my load, I was just looking for a bigger container.
When Adding One More Thing Breaks Us
It didn't end there. The following day, despite feeling a little better, I found myself crying on and off, sometimes intensely. My husband's well-intentioned requests to take some things off my plate presented me with yet another decision to make. I had reached critical mass. I literally couldn't even decide what to hand off because it required me to make a decision... more tears.
This still resonates so deeply with me today. I continue to see this pattern in myself and in my clients – especially entrepreneurial mothers who are trying to do it all. We think if we just had more space, more time, more energy, more help... but sometimes what we really need is less on our plates.
The Liberation of Letting Go
After all the crying and some talking, I was able to make decisions that really helped. I decided what to let go of:
I let go of the idea that I had to re-sell our unneeded items, and instead, could just donate everything and support our local community.
I let go of rushing to choose a new accountant before the next tax season, trusting the right one would come if I kept looking.
I let go of re-launching a program that September like I had planned and already started preparing for... because it wasn't that serious.
None of it was worth being on the edge of panic, losing my balance, stealing my time, attention, and energy from my family, or losing sleep over.
Why This Still Matters Today
Even now, years later, this experience crosses my mind regularly. The load is still heavy, and I still need to practice letting go. In my therapy practice, I see how this resonates with my clients too – whether they're entrepreneurs, couples, or individuals in high-stress careers.
We're all looking for bigger whiteboards when what we really need is to accept there's only so much of us to go around. Our brains, bodies, and emotional systems have limits that deserve respect.
Moving Forward with Acceptance
Business is emotional. Life is emotional. Cry. Laugh. Let go. Enjoy.
Sometimes the most healing thing we can do is recognize when we've hit our limit and make conscious choices about what deserves our precious energy and attention.
When we engage in Brainspotting or Accelerated Resolution Therapy in my practice, we often uncover how these patterns of overwhelm connect to deeper beliefs about worthiness, control, and what it means to be enough. The healing comes not from figuring out how to do more, but from understanding why we feel we need to.
PS... I still might need the bigger whiteboard. 😂
About Audrey Schoen, LMFT
I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Roseville, CA, and like many of my clients, I'm familiar with the pressure of holding too much for too long. In my work, I help individuals and couples navigate the emotional weight of life, whether it shows up as anxiety, perfectionism, people-pleasing, or the deep-seated belief that you always need to be doing more.
My practice supports entrepreneurs, couples, and law enforcement officer spouses, both in-person and online across California and Texas. I specialize in trauma healing, relational work, and dismantling unhelpful patterns using Brainspotting, Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART), and Relational Life Therapy. I also offer intensives, retreats, financial therapy, and business coaching for therapists.
Whether you're at your breaking point or just starting to notice the cracks, you're not alone. Therapy is a space to explore, release, and reconnect with yourself and with what matters most.
To learn more about how we can work together, reach out to schedule a consultation. Let’s find the space you actually need—no bigger whiteboard required.