IN-PERSON IN ROSEVILLE
ONLINE ACROSS CA & TX 

Relational Life Therapy

Helping you transform your relationship…without years of surface-level talk.

Behind the calm exterior, you’re running on fumes.

You’ve read the books. Tried the tips. Maybe even gone to therapy.

And yet here you are: still circling the same arguments, still carrying the weight of a relationship that’s leaving you tired—deeply, emotionally tired. 

Some days, you’re quietly hoping things will get better. Other days, you’re seething with resentment—snapping, shutting down, or pulling away because you don’t know what’s left to do. From the outside, things might look okay—you’ve been doing your best to hold it together. But inside, you’re asking yourself: how much longer can I keep doing this?

You’re tired of walking on eggshells, both with each other and with other therapists who won’t call things like they are. If this is going to work—and you both hope it does—you know it’s time to stop circling the same problems and finally get to the root. The patterns need to change, and so do the ways you each show up in the relationship. 

Relational Life Therapy shows you what’s really driving the conflict—and how to stop repeating it.

Relational Life Therapy helps couples struggling with:

  • Division of labor

  • Emotional reactivity

  • Generational patterns

  • Therapy fatigue

  • Repeated, unresolved conflicts

  • Resentment & frustration

  • Past wounds or betrayals

  • Parenting stress

How it works

You can’t fix what you won’t face.

Relational Life Therapy helps you see the full picture of your relationships: what’s happening, why it’s happening, and what you can do to change it. Together, we will:

  • We start by deeply understanding and assessing what’s happening in your relationship, especially the “bad dance” you both keep getting trapped in. Here, we’ll examine each partner’s role in this dynamic, getting honest about where each of you may be contributing to the stuck places and the truths that need to be faced if you’re going to disrupt these cycles.

  • We’re all shaped by our early experiences—and even having a good childhood doesn’t mean you were equipped with the skills for modern marriage. Together, we’ll explore your individual histories and honor how they shaped you while recognizing that while past pain is valid, it’s not a hall pass for present behavior.

  • It’s possible to begin showing up to conflict, challenges, and big emotions with integrity, and we’ll build those skills together. We’ll find new ways to communicate needs, hurts, and perspectives in ways that bring you closer, rather than driving a wedge between you. And rather than shutting down or blowing up, you’ll learn to stand up to each other with love so you can both have more of what you want in your relationship.

  • Each of you will be invited to take accountability for what you can change in this dynamic. I’ll challenge you—compassionately—to do the work of confronting and changing what's not working for you. I'll give you direct feedback on what I'm seeing, but know that this isn't about blame. It's about clarity. And as you begin to show up differently, you’ll see that clarity turn into deeper, richer connection.

This isn’t traditional couples therapy. This is something different.

This is not:

  • Neutral to a fault

  • Surface-level advice

  • Cutesy metaphors

  • Centering one partner’s comfort

  • Avoiding conflict

  • Letting patterns slide

  • Telling you to lower your expectations

This is:

  • Direct + compassionate truth

  • Rooted in clarity and ownership

  • Focused on real change

  • Challenging with respect

  • Tools and accountability

  • Honest about what’s not working

  • A space where both partners grow

If you're at a breaking point, it’s time to stop and deal with it.

In addition to traditional weekly sessions, I also offer couples intensives. These concentrated, retreat-style experiences help couples step away from the daily grind, slow down, and dig in together to start making big shifts, fast.

Frequently asked questions

  • Gottman, traditionally, is very focused on skills, but can miss the deeper emotional work. EFT goes deep emotionally, but misses the skills. Neither of these approaches addresses power imbalances or grandiosity, dynamics in relationships that are often incredibly harmful but difficult to root out.

    Relational Life Therapy takes this on directly, and you end up with both deep insight and practical tools. In RLT, we’ll confront patterns of entitlement or avoidance, and you’ll be challenged to take responsibility for your own reactions and regulation.

    In RLT, we also work on accepting the imperfections of humans and relationships. The fact is, there are certain “bitter pills” in marriage: realities and truths that can be hard to swallow. It can sometimes be lonely or disappointing. RLT doesn’t pretend things will always feel good or easy; instead, it helps you decide what’s workable and what’s not—and then what to do about it.

  • I ask for a short-term initial commitment, typically at least 3 months. At the end of that period, you can decide whether you want to keep going. Some couples see big changes and move to less frequent sessions as they taper off. Others need more support, but we decide at various checkpoints to make sure things are going in the right direction.

  • Yes. Change takes work, and most of that work needs to be done outside of our scheduled sessions. I may recommend specific practices or reflections. The audiobook Fierce Intimacy is a favorite resource of mine, and I encourage all couples to listen to it as a primer for our work together.

  • I can. I use Brainspotting and Accelerated Resolution Therapy to process trauma that is impacting the relationship. At times, I may meet with one individual if both partners are agreeable to it, so as to address the trauma without interfering with your progress as a couple.

  • I do take sides, and I know this differs from other therapeutic approaches. However, not all problems are 50/50. If there is an imbalance, I will call it out. This is not about ganging up on one partner or the other. While someone often has to go “first,” over time, both partners do their fair share of the work.

  • Contact me to schedule a free consultation with me. It’s important that you feel comfortable with your counselor, and I’ll help you decide if I’m the right fit for you.

This isn’t just about better communication—it’s about real transformation.

Let’s break the cycles…for good.